The hike to Honey River

Yes, it really is called Honey River (el Río de la Miel) and yes, it was as lovely as it sounds.
Saturday was the day of my Grandpa's funeral back home, and so rather than being miserable all day wishing that I was home with my family, 2 friends and I set off on a hike to commemorate his life by living ours :)

Enjoy the pictures!

"If those fell on your head they would knock you out."

We found an old crumbling down grain mill by the river. So picturesque!

Orange trees hangin' out by the river. So Spanish.

They went exploring by the pond, while my lazy self stayed behind.

"A pretty view of Uglyciras??" Yup, it can look quite idyllic if you're far enough away.

Some telltale signs you've adjusted to life in Spain...

• You accidently say American words the way your students say them. Like how I said 'facebook postes' instead of 'facebook posts' this morning.
• You start trying to spell American words funetically phonetically.
• You have to differentiate by saying 'American words' so that others know you don't mean 'British words'. Because by now, especially if you're an auxiliar, you know they are completely different. 
• Toast with olive oil, salt and tomato spread for breakfast? Sure!
• When someone offers to drive you somewhere, you get giddy with excitement at the prospect of not having to take the bus.
• There are ACTUALLY some Spanish foods that you will miss when you go back home to the States. 
• You automatically read the weather in Celsius now, not Fahrenheit. Which can lead to some confusion when a friend on facebook complains that it's only 30 degrees out. (And you think...only??)
• You understand that while Europe might seem tiny with all the countries squashed together, it's still a hassle to just 'hop on over' to another country. (Unless, maybe, you are lucky enough to live in Madrid or Barcelona. Curse you all.)
• When you hear you're friends back home talk about how they stayed out all the way until bar time, you laugh a little inside, cause you might not even leave your house until 'bar time'.

BUT....No matter how Spanish you might be starting to feel, you will ALWAYS be American because...

• You know that narrating your movements to the general public is not an acceptable thing to do.
• And neither is talking to yourself while in a room with other people. (If you talk to yourself when you're by yourself, that's fine. Do what you gotta do.)
• And neither is whistling a high pitched tune while in a room with lots of other people. Continuously.
• And neither is enthusiasticly singing Flamenco style music while you're in a room with other other people.

All of those happened to me today in the teachers lounge. The whole 'narrating your movements thing' happens to me anytime I'm in the room with my roommates. I've come to learn that they don't except a response, they just like to mutter to themselves.

• And finally, you know that saying "How cold. How cold! Hoooow cold! How coooooold!" does not constitute an acceptable conversation. 
• (Yes, this happened to me. And no, I couldn't get a word in edge wise. And yes, she thought she was making conversation.)

Comment and let me know what your list would be!

Sending my love all the way from Spain.

Living abroad can really suck sometimes. Like when all you want to do is drive home for the weekend, but realize that that's completely impossible. My Grandpa died Monday morning, and even though we'd all been expecting it and it didn't come as a complete surprise, it still makes it hard to walk into class and listen to my students scream and shout in my ear and not try to act like I want to kill them all. Sometimes silence is nice.

It's so easy to wrap yourself up in this little extranjera bubble, where everything back home feels like it's frozen in time until you'll eventually return. So not true. People back home keep changing, and living, and obviously, moving on. Things will be so much different than they were when I left 9 months ago. But maybe since I've recognized that fact now, it will be easier to come to terms with when I do finally get home. 

I've had my share of moments these past 4 months when I was so homesick I was ready to buy the next plane ticket home. But this is different. Knowing that all of my family is together back home celebrating the life of this fantastic person, but that I am 3,000 miles away by myself, is really hard. So, like the post title says, I'm sending my love to my Grandma and the rest of my family, all the way from Spain. I miss you guys and love you, and hope you'll save some of the stories about Grandpa for the next time I'm there too.

"All Americans are fat....right?"

Yesterday I learned that Spaniards think all Americans are fat. Period. Unless they are from California. California people are the only exception to the rule.

(Well at least that's what the 2 Spaniards who were working at a convenience store at 3am this morning thought.)

The whole conversation that I had with them was ridiculous. Funny, but ridiculous. It started with me (drunkenly) deciding I should buy some plain Greek yogurt at 3am so that I would have some to eat for breakfast the next morning. After a little fiasco with them only having Greek yogurt with sugar added and them not understanding that I wanted it au natural, they asked "inglesa?" And then when I corrected them and said 'Americana' they looked VERY confused. "But...you're..you're not...fat!" 

I couldn't help but bursting out into laughter and saying "Why thank you!" Cause I mean, what else do you say to that statement? Then they explained that they thought all Americans were overweight, with the exception of people from California. (Thank you Baywatch....) 

Just to humor them I told them that while that was most definitely not true, I actually was from California. I probably should have left that part out though, since that just seemed to confirm their belief.

Fellow American expats, it looks like we have a job to do while we're here. Either that or I just need to have a string of comebacks about Spanish stereotypes...Hmm..I'll start making a list.

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America in a nut shell?


..................................................

OKAY, HOLD UP. This is a blog update. (3/12/12)

My blog has been getting an astronomical amount of hits lately from various forms of the search phrase 'all americans are fat'. This makes me feel...slightly ashamed of having posted anything with those words.
I gotta admit, I think its fun to check my daily stats section to see how many people have checked my blog today, what countries they're from (I once got a hit from Isle of Man...that was exciting), and what search phrases they've used to come across my blog. This last one is usually pretty funny.
For example:

• pura green flood --- (umm what??)
• reir entry system --- (again, umm what?)
• alien abduction egg harvesting --- (this one made me burst out laughing, it got a hit on a post about when I had to explain the differences of martians vs. aliens to my kids)
• funny person falling down stairs --- (about the time I ended up in the hospital after tripping on the stairs)
• surprised kid --- (this makes sense, since I myself googled 'surprised kid' and took the first picture I found)
• gas tank bombona --- (clearly I am not the only person who has trouble with these things...sorry that my post on this didn't actually clear up any of those problems..)

There were lots of other funny ones too, but they don't show up on my list now because the most popular search hits have been replaced by 'all americans are fat', 'fat americans', 'fat people', you get the idea.

STOP.

For all of you who are reading this because you just searched that exact phrase, I have a revelation for you.

It's not true. Sorry if that just crushed all of your dreams of America. 

Yes, there is an obesity problem in America. But no, it does not define or overwhelm our population.

It's a stereotype.

Just like it's a stereotype that all Spaniards get drunk off Sangria and dance Flamenco. Or that all Germans like leather pants, beer and world domination (gotta admit though, that one is kind of funny. And very Eurotrip-ish).

This post will probably double or triple the number of hits I get for that phrase, but as long as I can set at least one person straight about it, I'll be happy.

I also found this little quiz online, (which is where I discovered that classy German stereotype), about guessing which stereotypes belonged to which country. I got 18/24, how many can you get?

Trying to go on a diet...?

Take the light bulb out of your kitchen. This can effectively cut your eating in half, limiting you to only the hours that the sunlight outside comes in your kitchen window. Obviously, this doesn't mean you starve yourself, you can still grab quick little snacks that you can find in the dark, but it does mean that you can't cook large calorie-rich meals after dark.

Why do I know this?

Because for the past 3 days the lightbulb in our kitchen has been dying out, very slowly. Last night while I was making a sandwich and trying not to let the 'light DARK light DARK light DARK' of the light bulb bother me, my roommate walked through, laughed and said "...discoteca!" Which means that it looked like a club in our kitchen.
Pretty accurate.

In my defense, I don't know where to buy light bulbs or how to install them. Weak, I know. My boyfriend insisted that I should figure it out, but....I just don't want to. I want a roommate to do instead. But they seem pretty hell bent on not dealing with it either. Or the massive amounts of dishes that have piled up in the sink. Which for once, not my fault.

The Apes of Gibraltar: Nat. Geo. Style

When you have something photograph worthy in front of you, it's easy to pretend you work for National Geographic. At least, that's how I feel sometimes. For example, it's hard to take a bad picture of the Eiffel Tower, or an ugly picture of a sunset. Or, in this case, an ugly picture of a baby monkey.

However, I am still extremely pleased with how my day of photographing the Gibraltar apes turned out.
Just look at these cute faces! (And no, I won't be hurt if you stop looking after the first 5 pictures or so. I have a problem of taking a couple hundred too many pictures of animals.)

1. This sequence makes me crack up every time.

2. Sunning themselves

3. Mom does work, baby looks around curiously.

(No, this picture isn't sideways, his head was sticking out sideways from under his mom's arm.)

4. Hangin' out.

5. Lunch time! Aka the many faces of the baby apes.

6. He's nursing!

And if those pictures didn't inspire you to make the trip to Gibraltar, how about these?

The view as we took the cable car up the mountain.

On top of the Rock, with the bay of Gibraltar in the background.

There is a short cut of stairs that cuts straight down the top half of the mountain. It's kind of trippy, and very rickety feeling, although they are stone stairs.

This reminded me of the Great Wall of China. No idea why.

Sometimes I take Gibraltar for granted, since it's only a 45 minute bus ride away and go there weekly. But this day trip really reminded me how lucky I am to only be 45 minutes away from such a gorgeous and unique place. If you are ever in the area, you should definitely take a day (or even half a day) and check it out!