Soy como un flor...y mi novio es el agua.

I left the house wearing shorts this morning.
This doesn't seem like a big deal, right? And it shouldn't be. Unless you happen to live in Spain and don't put on tights under the shorts.
(That's a big no-no, unless you want to attract attention from all the wrong guys.)

I left the house wearing running shorts and was sitting on a bench waiting to meet Eli to go on a walk. An old man walked passed me at one point, looked me up and down, and said with a slightly confused (because of my clothing choice) and decisive look on his face, "no hay verano este año." (There's no summer this year.) Basically, he told me that it wasn't summer and that I couldn't go around wearing so little clothing, I had to cover up. (Solely because it wasn't the summer season yet, never mind that it was summer weather.) I got very indignant and replied that I could wear whatever I pleased, thank you very much. I guess I amused him, because he broke out in guffaws and sat down next to me on the bench, looking very pleased with my response.

He asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said yes. He asked "here?" I said no, the United States. He said "that can be very dangerous." And I said "oh yeah?" And he explained that a woman without a man "es como un flor sin agua. La flor está aquí y el agua está allí. Como vas a vivir?" (It's like a flower without water. The flower is here and the water is there. How are you going to live?) Joder, man! I assured him I was living just fine.

And then he asked me if I wanted to get coffee. No. No I most definitely did not. He asked me for my number, so that maybe we could get coffee later. I said not a chance. Then he asked me if he could give me his number. Nope. "But how will we be able to maybe get a coffee later? Oh! I'll show you where I live!" Super. So now I know that he lives on the first floor of an apartment on the corner across from the train station, and that he is always in a café right on the corner, so I won't have any trouble finding him. Fantastic.

I love getting hit on by old creepy men who tell me that I can't live without a man and it's not okay to wear shorts in 70 degree weather. Spain, you really need to get with the modern era.

Only 1 month until this look won't get me stares and catcalls. 

"Tell me little lies baby..."

Sometimes its just no fun to be the only native English speaker in a class. It's not nearly as fun to laugh at people's mistakes when you're the only one who realizes it was a mistake.
For example:

• One of my students was talking about her cousin and she said "My cousin is 10 years old. I love her very much, but she is very loose." She thought about that for a second and then wrote on the board 'loose=floja'. My immediate reaction, being a native speaker and knowing slang, was 'OH GOD!! She can't be serious....can she?' The teacher didn't help my thought process when she told the student that that wasn't right, because 'loose' meant 'losing clothes'. Dear god. Finally she got it right and said loose meant 'baggy', and what the student meant to say was 'lazy'. It had been a scary few minutes for me. 

• Then the next girl got up to speak, but I can't tell you what she talked about because her shirt was distracting me. It said in big glittery silver cursive letters, "tell me little lies baby...". I don't even know what to think about that. 

Another observation I made is how obsessed Spaniards are with color-coordinating. Sometimes they can pull it off and look effortlessly classy, but sometimes, it's an epic fail.

• Like the girl today wearing purple shoes, purple pants, purple shirt, and gray zipup sweatshirt with purple stars. TOO MUCH PURPLE!

• My favorite color-coordination mishap is when women think its okay to wear an entire outfit of the same exact color. Tan pants, tan boots, tan shirt, tan sweater, tan scarf. Yes, I actually saw this, and yes it was all the exact same shade of tan. It was actually kind of impressive. 

• And then there was the grandma wearing an olive green tracksuit with a matching olive green t-shirt, and an olive green jacket. Too much.

• The most common of these here in Spain is the all black outfit. Seriously people, what is wrong with a little color??

But I digress. Spaniards are known for their impeccable style, they just happen to have a lot of mistakes on the way to finding perfection.